Before I got married, before I had Hannah, I always complained that i was too tired or too busy, or i never had enough time to do everything. Now with Hannah in my life, the word 'tired' took on a whole new meaning.
As i am staying with my mil who takes care of my daughter, the duty of cooking, cleaning and groceries shopping is taken up voluntarily by me. Fortunately, mil do not mind to do the laundry for the whole family as i take care of the rest.
A typical weekday;
wake up at 5.50am, get ready for work.
7.30am, reach college and ebm before class start at 8am.
12.30pm do some paper work in the office, quick lunch and ebm again.
4.30pm finish class and go home.
5.30pm prepare dinner, in between breastfeed hannah and play with her.
7pm dinner is ready and so is hannah's porridge. Bring hannah out from the house and walk around the house compound. Teaching her to look out for birds, fish, cats, dogs and flowers.
7.30pm hannah's feeding time. Sometimes it can drag for one whole hour and i have to play barney dvd for her as i feed her.
8pm. Papa is home and we will have dinner together. Normally mah mah will eat her dinner early and goes for her line dancing class. Yeh yeh seldom eats at home.
8.30pm hannah will take her bath after i have cleaned up the kitchen and boil drinking water for the next day.
9pm dressing hannah nowadays is a chore and will take about 10 mins. After passing her to yeh yeh or papa, i will quickly take bath.
By 9.30pm hannah is ready for her bedtime nen nen. I will make a bottle for her before both of us settling down for our usual bedtime nursing.
10-11pm it depends on how tired hannah is. Sometimes she will fall asleep very fast, sometimes she will get up and play in the dark, rolling all over the bed and on me.
By the time Hannah falls asleep, i would be too tired to stay awake too. That is how i end my day.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Hannah @ 11 month
My litttle girl is growing fast. She is no longer the little baby i brought home from the hospital and makes little mewing sounds like a kitten when she is upset. Now she roars(literally) with all her might when we are out from her sight.
She is so cute and adorable at this age. She starts to understand instructions and is upset when we talked angrily to her. Nowadays she gets into the habit of squinting her eyes and wiggles her nose when we tell her not to do something. And she can shake her head as in no-no vigorously for no apparent reason. I think she pick that up from us. We have gotten into the habit of shaking our heads in dissapproval when she is being naughty and tries to touch something which is dangerous. For the past few days, she has learnt to wave bye bye too. She is a bit late in this and her father was quite worried as she is not reaching her milestones as she should have. But once she did, she practises her newfound skills very often.
Even from very young age, we can see that see that she is a bold and sociable girl. She loves to seek out older children to play with. From my arms, she will peer out curiously at other children and laughs loudly at them. She is a happy baby and everyone who has ever held her will agree so.
She is the sunshine in our lives and the apple of our eyes. I know the time will come when one day she will hate us for being strict with her or not being understanding enough to her needs. But if she happens to read this blog in the future, she will know that we love her very much.
She is so cute and adorable at this age. She starts to understand instructions and is upset when we talked angrily to her. Nowadays she gets into the habit of squinting her eyes and wiggles her nose when we tell her not to do something. And she can shake her head as in no-no vigorously for no apparent reason. I think she pick that up from us. We have gotten into the habit of shaking our heads in dissapproval when she is being naughty and tries to touch something which is dangerous. For the past few days, she has learnt to wave bye bye too. She is a bit late in this and her father was quite worried as she is not reaching her milestones as she should have. But once she did, she practises her newfound skills very often.
Even from very young age, we can see that see that she is a bold and sociable girl. She loves to seek out older children to play with. From my arms, she will peer out curiously at other children and laughs loudly at them. She is a happy baby and everyone who has ever held her will agree so.
She is the sunshine in our lives and the apple of our eyes. I know the time will come when one day she will hate us for being strict with her or not being understanding enough to her needs. But if she happens to read this blog in the future, she will know that we love her very much.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Hannah's Milestones
There is 4 more days before Hannah reached 11 months. However she progressed so fast and has grown so quickly that i cannot believe she is not yet one year old. Yesterday she has learnt to climb down from the bed. For the past few weeks i had taught her to go down with her backside first. We practised a few times but i don't think she understand how the whole thing work. However, yesterday morning as we were playing on the bed, she crawled to the edge of the bed and look down, then she looked back at me before turning this way and that way. Finally she let one of her legs dropped over the edge of the bed while both of her hands firmly gripped the bed sheet. She let herself down too quickly but i was there all the time hovering on top of her with my hands close to her body, ready to catch her if she fell. She was extremely pleased with herself and proceed quickly to the bedside table to grab my phone. I am very happy too. It is a very important skill which she has to master. I have had horrible thoughts of her stumbing down from bed head first.
Hannah has been cruising when she was 8 month old. She is very confident with her skill now and is trying to let go of her hands while crusing in her playpen. She is a very smart girl because she know when she is on a mattress, she can let go of her hands and fall hard on the soft mattress. But when she is on the floor, she wil never do that. She can crawl very fast too and sometimes i will play catch with her and she was really excited. She also know which furniture is safe to hold onto and which is not. For example, if she wants to take the tv remote control on the plastic chair, she will hold onto the solid sofa beside it because she knew the plastic chair will move if she place her weight on it.
her new found skills also mean more troubles. Yeh yeh put a lot of feng shui objects all over the house. We have a small coffee table push against the far end of the living room where yeh yeh put a glass of water surrounded by his chinese horoscope animals. We also have a small fan there. To prevent hannah from reaching these, mah mah put a scratchy rubber mat on the floor. It managed to stop her from going further as she disliked the scratchy mat on her bare feet. However, two days ago, mah mah reported that she has finally brave enough to stand on the mat, stepped up high enough to pull the glass of water over, poked her fingers into the fan and fiddled with the buttons on the fan. Fortunately, the fan was not turn on, or else her little fingers will be chopped off.
Yeh yeh said he will remove his feng shui objects for the sake of his granddaughter. I was very glad to hear that.
Hannah has been cruising when she was 8 month old. She is very confident with her skill now and is trying to let go of her hands while crusing in her playpen. She is a very smart girl because she know when she is on a mattress, she can let go of her hands and fall hard on the soft mattress. But when she is on the floor, she wil never do that. She can crawl very fast too and sometimes i will play catch with her and she was really excited. She also know which furniture is safe to hold onto and which is not. For example, if she wants to take the tv remote control on the plastic chair, she will hold onto the solid sofa beside it because she knew the plastic chair will move if she place her weight on it.
her new found skills also mean more troubles. Yeh yeh put a lot of feng shui objects all over the house. We have a small coffee table push against the far end of the living room where yeh yeh put a glass of water surrounded by his chinese horoscope animals. We also have a small fan there. To prevent hannah from reaching these, mah mah put a scratchy rubber mat on the floor. It managed to stop her from going further as she disliked the scratchy mat on her bare feet. However, two days ago, mah mah reported that she has finally brave enough to stand on the mat, stepped up high enough to pull the glass of water over, poked her fingers into the fan and fiddled with the buttons on the fan. Fortunately, the fan was not turn on, or else her little fingers will be chopped off.
Yeh yeh said he will remove his feng shui objects for the sake of his granddaughter. I was very glad to hear that.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Welcoming Hannah - 29th July 2012
By 7am, i woke ky and told him i was ready to deliver. I had my bag packed and i was waiting. Mil came with us and i was truly grateful she was with me. Her strong nursing background has given me enormous comfort and security. But strangely, i was not scared, just apprehensive. I had watched a lot of videos on youtube and read up in preparation for the delivery.
We reached Selayang Hospital at 8am.(Why i chose Selayang Hospital? Hmmm... That is a story for next time). I was quickly admitted into the delivery ward. A quick check showed that i was already 5cm dilated. Wow ... I was so proud of myself. Must be due to the walking the whole night. I call my parents and gong gong picked up the phone. I said 'pa, i am in the hospital now. I am ready to deliver anytime'. He was surpised, and was lost for word. The he laughed and said 'wah.. Gong hei lei wor'. Hmmm ... What a strange response.
It was a long wait for Hannah. By 1pm my water bag has to be broken and my labour has to be induced because my cervical dilation did not increased. Since it was a government hospital, i was not offered epidural. However i was given an injection to ease my labour pains. Maybe i should not have taken it. It made me very sleepy and lost the strenght to push the baby out.
I was glad i did not give birth on 5th August as it was the start of the fasting month. I don't think the nurses and doctor would have so much patient to wait for me to deliver naturally. They were ready to go home and would be too eager to cut me up. But i was glad, really glad that Hannah finally made her appearance in the evening. The nurse held her up, all bloodied and red and very furious for being haul out from her warm home. 'ini anak perempuan ya. Nama emak leong poh yin ya'. I nodded feebly. Too exhausted and actually, i can't see very clearly without my glasses. And then she tagged my little daughter.
Hannah Leong Kar Yan
D.O.B 29 August 2011
Weight : 3.3kg
Hello world, allow me to present Ms Hannah Leong Kar Yan to you!!
We reached Selayang Hospital at 8am.(Why i chose Selayang Hospital? Hmmm... That is a story for next time). I was quickly admitted into the delivery ward. A quick check showed that i was already 5cm dilated. Wow ... I was so proud of myself. Must be due to the walking the whole night. I call my parents and gong gong picked up the phone. I said 'pa, i am in the hospital now. I am ready to deliver anytime'. He was surpised, and was lost for word. The he laughed and said 'wah.. Gong hei lei wor'. Hmmm ... What a strange response.
It was a long wait for Hannah. By 1pm my water bag has to be broken and my labour has to be induced because my cervical dilation did not increased. Since it was a government hospital, i was not offered epidural. However i was given an injection to ease my labour pains. Maybe i should not have taken it. It made me very sleepy and lost the strenght to push the baby out.
I was glad i did not give birth on 5th August as it was the start of the fasting month. I don't think the nurses and doctor would have so much patient to wait for me to deliver naturally. They were ready to go home and would be too eager to cut me up. But i was glad, really glad that Hannah finally made her appearance in the evening. The nurse held her up, all bloodied and red and very furious for being haul out from her warm home. 'ini anak perempuan ya. Nama emak leong poh yin ya'. I nodded feebly. Too exhausted and actually, i can't see very clearly without my glasses. And then she tagged my little daughter.
Hannah Leong Kar Yan
D.O.B 29 August 2011
Weight : 3.3kg
Hello world, allow me to present Ms Hannah Leong Kar Yan to you!!
Friday, June 22, 2012
Mother's Pain
It was only 4 days after we celebrated ky's birthday. Hannah was supposed to arrive on the following friday on 5th August 2011. I remembered playfully asking ky if he wanted to have a baby as his birthday present, a daughter to share his birthday. He politely declined and said he would not mind waiting a little longer for the arrival of our little girl.
On Thursday morning, 28th July 2011, i was still going to the college as usual. I was getting very heavy and walking really slowly then as my pelvic bone was pressing on my nerve. I remembered trying to carry my backpack but after a few steps i had to leave it in my car as my pain near the pelvic bone become unbearable. I managed to finish all my classes on that day but it really tired me out. I told my DHT2 students that i would not be having class with them the next day as i wanted to take mc.
Fast forward, it was after dinner at night and my mil asked me to print out the confinement recipes that i have found online. I spent some time in front of the pc. By 11pm i felt pain at the lower region. The pain was similar to menstrual pain. When i was in the toilet, i saw blood. I asked my mil if that was normal? I have still one week to go. My mil asked me to go to bed and put up my legs on the pillow. However the pain become stronger and more frequent.
The contractions started and it came every five minute. It was already 1am when i went to take bath and washed my hair. I was afraid i would need to be admitted into hospital that very night itself. However, I did not wake ky because my water bag was not broken yet. I thought i can wait until the next morning before asking ky to sent me to the hospital. I bear with the pain alone throughout the night. My mil came out from her room and asked me to get some sleep. I would not sleep on the bed for fear of waking up ky as i had to get up every five minute and walked around the house to ease to pain. I spent the whole night sitting on a chair and dozed on and off between my contractions.
On Thursday morning, 28th July 2011, i was still going to the college as usual. I was getting very heavy and walking really slowly then as my pelvic bone was pressing on my nerve. I remembered trying to carry my backpack but after a few steps i had to leave it in my car as my pain near the pelvic bone become unbearable. I managed to finish all my classes on that day but it really tired me out. I told my DHT2 students that i would not be having class with them the next day as i wanted to take mc.
Fast forward, it was after dinner at night and my mil asked me to print out the confinement recipes that i have found online. I spent some time in front of the pc. By 11pm i felt pain at the lower region. The pain was similar to menstrual pain. When i was in the toilet, i saw blood. I asked my mil if that was normal? I have still one week to go. My mil asked me to go to bed and put up my legs on the pillow. However the pain become stronger and more frequent.
The contractions started and it came every five minute. It was already 1am when i went to take bath and washed my hair. I was afraid i would need to be admitted into hospital that very night itself. However, I did not wake ky because my water bag was not broken yet. I thought i can wait until the next morning before asking ky to sent me to the hospital. I bear with the pain alone throughout the night. My mil came out from her room and asked me to get some sleep. I would not sleep on the bed for fear of waking up ky as i had to get up every five minute and walked around the house to ease to pain. I spent the whole night sitting on a chair and dozed on and off between my contractions.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Baby teething
For several weeks i have been trying to get Hannah to suck on her pacifier instead of my breasts at nights. On certain nights she woke up every hours just to suckle and i was absolutely sure that she was not hungry. There were times when i woke up in the middle of the nights because i was too painful to let her continue and i made nen nen in the bottle for her but she only manage to finish 1oz to 2oz. By the way, at 11 month she still drinks only 3oz per feeding. On nights like these i thought i could go crazy from lack of sleep. She is teething and her gum must be very iritating. She loves to bite on anything; remote controls, keys, phones etc etc, except her pacifiers and teething rings.
Hannah will roll on my body, from left to right and right to left again to find my nen nen and will cry really loud if i don't give it to her. I always give in because i can't stand to hear her crying so pitifully. My mil asked me to wean her off but honestly, i love to breastfed her and although it is so frustrating not being able to get good sleep and painful too, i wanted to breastfed her for as long as i can. Her expression each time she sees my breasts is priceless. I really love to see the way her eyes lighted up and how she smiled up at me each time i breastfed her. the funniest thing is she will start to hyper ventilate with her eyes half closed and chubby hands grabbing on my shirt as soon as i lay her in my arms in breastfeeding position.
I have grown to love my role as a mother and the little girl that has become so attached to me. Breasfeeding is truly a unique experience and no, it is not all about getting the milk. it is more toward the special bond between a child and her mother that makes it so special.( baby is latching on as i am wrting this. Overflowing with maternal love :))
Hannah will roll on my body, from left to right and right to left again to find my nen nen and will cry really loud if i don't give it to her. I always give in because i can't stand to hear her crying so pitifully. My mil asked me to wean her off but honestly, i love to breastfed her and although it is so frustrating not being able to get good sleep and painful too, i wanted to breastfed her for as long as i can. Her expression each time she sees my breasts is priceless. I really love to see the way her eyes lighted up and how she smiled up at me each time i breastfed her. the funniest thing is she will start to hyper ventilate with her eyes half closed and chubby hands grabbing on my shirt as soon as i lay her in my arms in breastfeeding position.
I have grown to love my role as a mother and the little girl that has become so attached to me. Breasfeeding is truly a unique experience and no, it is not all about getting the milk. it is more toward the special bond between a child and her mother that makes it so special.( baby is latching on as i am wrting this. Overflowing with maternal love :))
2012 IS FLYING AWAY!!
I cannot believe my last blog written was in 2009. I have missed out 3 years of blogging and so much had happened since. I was admitted into hospital for dengue fever, got my laptop stolen from my rented house in TBR, both happened in 2009. Finally got married on 13th march 2010, after knowing ky for 4 years and had baby Hannah on 27th july 2011.
I started this blog to preserve the sweet memories of how we met and the details of our life journey together. However, along the way, both of us were too busy with our life that this blog is literally forgotten until now. After i got married, my life is no longer mine alone. I am a wife, a daughter and a daughter in law. I do housework, groceries shopping, cook and taking care of my husband. After i had baby Hannah, whatever little time i have for myself at home is all given to her. I am a mother now.
Suddenly it hits me that i now have a very young and vulnerable baby who is very dependent on me. I must not get sick and i certainly must not die for her sake. Someone once told me that a child without a mother is very pitiful. Their future lays in dirt as no one can guide and nurture them the way a mother could. The meaning never really settle fully in me until i become a mother myself. I really love my little daughter. Being a mother is not easy at all as the baby, small as she is, is very demanding. I know if something happens to me, no one can love her the way i do.
I regretted not being discipline enough as i did promised myself that i would keep a journal of Hannah's birth and her young life with us. I wanted to, in the subsequent blogs, to recall back the memories of my pregnancy to the present. Gosh, Hannah is going to be 11-month soon. I hope it is not too late to start doing so.
I started this blog to preserve the sweet memories of how we met and the details of our life journey together. However, along the way, both of us were too busy with our life that this blog is literally forgotten until now. After i got married, my life is no longer mine alone. I am a wife, a daughter and a daughter in law. I do housework, groceries shopping, cook and taking care of my husband. After i had baby Hannah, whatever little time i have for myself at home is all given to her. I am a mother now.
Suddenly it hits me that i now have a very young and vulnerable baby who is very dependent on me. I must not get sick and i certainly must not die for her sake. Someone once told me that a child without a mother is very pitiful. Their future lays in dirt as no one can guide and nurture them the way a mother could. The meaning never really settle fully in me until i become a mother myself. I really love my little daughter. Being a mother is not easy at all as the baby, small as she is, is very demanding. I know if something happens to me, no one can love her the way i do.
I regretted not being discipline enough as i did promised myself that i would keep a journal of Hannah's birth and her young life with us. I wanted to, in the subsequent blogs, to recall back the memories of my pregnancy to the present. Gosh, Hannah is going to be 11-month soon. I hope it is not too late to start doing so.
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